"Hey there! I’m Alaina Swain, some of you may already know my story but many of you more than likely don’t. Well, I’m going to tell you the basic outline of it. Before I do, I want to give an introduction to myself. I’m a 16-year-old girl, born and raised in North Carolina. I want to be a veterinarian when I get older and have the rescue farm I’ve dreamed of since I was little. My current favorite color is purple, but it changes every month it seems. I love the church, and the family I’ve made from it. I love hikes, adventures, swimming, fishing, four-wheeling, volleyball, tennis, eating at new places, and traveling! I’m very extroverted, I love meeting new people and making new friends. I’m an enneagram one wing two. I love autumn and any chilly weather. I like things that get my adrenaline pumping, and things that are exciting. Most of all, I love God, and I love the story he has given me.
I’ve been given this opportunity by a good friend of mine, Luannie, to write this. I’m going to try and make this brief but sometimes I get started and I just keep going. Let's start from the beginning, I grew up in a very abusive home. My dad was a drug addict, he also was bipolar, and the two don’t mix very well. There was always arguing and fighting in my house, I don’t have many memories of peace. My siblings and I were also targeted, we were physically and verbally abused. At the age of 10, my parents separated and things went downhill even more from there. My older sister and I were given the responsibility to mature many years ahead of the age we were. We had already seen so much, heard so much, and been told so much, we knew it all. A few months after my parents split, my dad broke into our house and did horrible things to my family. I was not home but at school. That was God protecting me. That day he escaped, but only to return later that week and do the same thing, once again I was at school, God had protected me. This time he had been surrounded by police, and instead of giving himself in, he took his own life. After that, I fell into a very dark place, but that brought me closer to God. My sister had already been going to church with her boyfriend, now husband. I had gone a few times but I didn’t consider myself the faith. There was just a tug in my heart to go, so I went. I got more and more involved and dedicated to the church. I’ve now been going for six years and it’s been the hardest but the strongest years of my life.
Now going through this transition was not easy at all, I’ve had many moments where I still felt like I could carry the burden of my past. The trauma I had gained, my friends can testify to what God has healed me from. The anxiety they used to see, the tears they saw me cry, the panic attacks they saw me have, the long talks I had with them about how I couldn’t do it anymore. They stuck by me through all of it, in my literal worst, they talked me through it, they told me how God will bring me out of it, and all I have to do is pray, and keep believing. That’s what I did and my faith got stronger, my mindset got better, and my relationships with people were made new. The version of me they saw years ago, is not who I am today. Fast forward to almost a year ago, I was going through something I was ashamed of, I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was in denial. After a prayer meeting we were having at our church with some of the girls, I confessed it. I was struggling with depression that I didn’t even see was depression. I was conceived by the lies of the enemy, telling me I wasn't enough, I wasn’t going to make it, I should just give up, it’s always going to be this way, no one will ever love me, and I believed it. I spent nights praying and asking God to help me. I am here to say God can and God will. I look back at these moments and realize, I am living in answered prayers. I no longer feel the anxiety felt, I don’t get panic attacks, and I don’t get consumed by a mindset that says I will never be good enough. When the devil tries to put his words in my head, all I say is “no”, “no I will not think that”, then I move on. I tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I am a child of God, that I am a daughter of the most high king, that no evil has authority over me, like the devil really thinks he can get me? With all the trials I’ve been through, why would I give up now? I cling to those moments when I’m in God's presence and he puts a covering of peace over me, then I think to myself, Heaven is going to be ten times better than this. I will remain faithful so I can hear God say “well done good and faithful servant”. God has blessed me with so many things that 10 years ago, I never thought I would have. I have a wonderful loving church family, I’m in kids ministry teaching the younger generation the goodness of God. I make decisions based on faith, I’ve brought multiple friends to church who are now baptized and filled with the Holy Ghost. Now I couldn’t say every part of my testimony for the respect of my family. With what I have said, I just want to let you know that you can get through anything. I know it’s hard hearing it now but you can, you think you won’t but you can, it doesn’t look like it will, but it can! You have to pray, you have to stay faithful, and you have to do everything in your power to let the devil know that he doesn’t have any control over you, that it doesn't matter your circumstance, that you will never follow the path of the enemy. Now if you’re in a good place in your life right now, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to you. Praise God even in your good times, don’t just run to him when you need something, thank him for what he’s already done."